It’s a harsh thing to learn, but the more you want to hear something, the more likely it becomes that the person saying it isn’t genuine.
If you’ve never heard the fable of the Fox and the Crow, it’s a simple story – the crow has something the fox wants, so the fox flatters the crow until the crow easily gives up the morsel and the fox steals it.
One lesson is: people being nice to you are sometimes lying! And… sure, that’s true. But that’s not really a helpful lesson, because it offers no method for determining who’s genuine and who isn’t. Surely some people are just nice, right?
But there’s a deeper, and more helpful lesson in that story. The crow was able to be tricked because he valued the external validation. It so affected his mood that it affected his judgment.
All scams start with implicit flattery: “You can’t be scammed because you’re just so smart, so you’d obviously spot it if I was scamming you.” If you allow yourself to be led into dark alleyways, you’re likely to be mugged. The way to avoid being mugged isn’t to try to figure out who is and isn’t a mugger, it’s to not go down dark alleyways with strangers at all.
You can believe the fox or not – but choose your actions as you would if you’d never heard him at all.
The Opportunity Machine 