Fun Choices

One of the features of being an adult is that you can find that you don’t have as much time as you’d like for hobbies or other kinds of “pointless fun.” (I put that in quotes because it’s obviously not pointless, but I mean fun unconnected to productivity in other ways; working out is fun but it serves some other purpose too, while board games are just fun for fun’s sake.)

It’s just how it is, and there’s nothing wrong with discharging your other responsibilities before letting loose. But firstly, a little reframing: Don’t live your life just to have those few moments of fun. Most of your life should be fun, and if it isn’t, then you need to either do different things or think different thoughts. If you find your day-to-day responsibilities to your career, family, etc. absolutely onerous then that’s a problem that needs to be addressed, and not by simply running to the golf course the very instant you can.

But let’s assume away all of that for a moment. Let’s assume you’re like me and you find your work and family responsibilities to be sources of comfort and satisfaction and you don’t use hobbies to escape them, but rather as additional sources of additional kinds of enjoyment. It’s still true that you will often not have as much time as you want for them. When that happens, how do your organize?

You see, my “big rocks” like family, career, home maintenance, writing, etc. organize themselves pretty easily by their nature. But if I have a free Saturday, how do I prioritize whether I want to go to a movie, go camping, play a game, or read a book?

My nature is to create systems. It’s borderline compulsive, in fact. But I don’t want to have my fun hobbies systematized to the point where they’re additional chores. My father once told me that the surest way to make yourself hate a hobby was to turn it into a job. I want my hobbies to be carefree but at the same time, I want to make sure they happen.

“If you have to ‘make sure’ they happen, then do you really want to do them?” I hear you, but there’s more than one of me at work here. Sometimes you have to fight against parts of your nature, even to do things that (most of you) wants to do. My natural inclination might be to spend my limited free time being a lump on the couch, but I won’t be happy I did that after.

Anyway, I’m going to see friends tonight. And when all is said and done, I’m always glad for that.