Fencing Out

In Douglas Adams’ incredible Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, there’s an amusing scene (one among thousands) where a character is discovered to be living in a very strange house. The outside walls of the house are decorated with hung paintings, end tables, potted plants, etc. – in other words, all the typical things you’d expect to be on the inside of a house. Meanwhile, the inside of the house has grass instead of carpet, siding on the interior walls, and all the furniture is lawn/patio furniture, etc. So the house is exactly backwards.

The character that lives in the house claims to be living outside, with everyone else in the world living inside the house. The house is called “The Outside of the Asylum,” because the inhabitant has committed everyone else in the world to the looney bin.

(Incidentally, if you find this – as I do – absolutely hysterical as a concept, you should definitely read the series. The whole thing is amazing absurdist stuff like this.)

So when you build a barrier, are you keeping something out or something in?

Often it’s both, to some degree. The walls of my house keep the heat inside and the rain outside. But when it comes to intangible things rather than physical ones, it’s usually one or the other. You have “quiet time” because you don’t want noise invading that hour. You limit your kids’ “screen time” because you want to keep it contained to that block.

But try reversing it!

Many parents put a hard cap on “screen time,” telling their kids they can’t watch TV or use electronic devices for more than an hour a day or something like that. I agree with the concept – kids shouldn’t spend ages in front of screens. But I don’t like the implementation. I don’t want screen time to be the thing that’s so amazing that it has to be a sacred prize. I also don’t want to inadvertently focus my kids’ attention on it constantly by telling them “Don’t.”

So instead, I create really fun other times during which screens aren’t allowed. Screens aren’t allowed during Science Experiment Time. They aren’t allowed during Dance Party Time. They aren’t allowed during Silly Dinner Time. And they aren’t missed.

I don’t try to keep screens “in” one time. I just keep them “out” of other times, and then the actual amount of screen time takes care of itself.

So maybe don’t block off as much work time for yourself. Maybe just block off time where you absolutely will not work, and let the other stuff take care of itself.