When you have to deal with something difficult, there’s a school of thought that says it’s better to have it happen unexpectedly. The idea is that thinking about an unpleasant experience for three days before it happens makes it far worse; after all, would you rather experience something negative and three days of anxiety, or just the negative event?
I get the logic, but there are problems. For one, this method requires someone else to both administer the event and lie to you about it. If you have to take your child in to get a shot, it’s definitely easier to not tell them that’s where you’re going until you get there – but you’re also destroying your child’s trust. It’s not worth it.
Three days of anxiety is better than months, years, or a lifetime of damaged trust, fear, and resentment.
All this is to say – bad news sucks. You don’t want to give it. But when you have to, you have to. Don’t spring it on people. The trust is better.
The Opportunity Machine 