When you learn about other people, you get better at predicting their actions. That’s helpful and generally makes your life better.
The same is true of learning about yourself. Except it’s harder.
Imagine that you learn that your boss is really cranky every day from noon until 1. Then they eat lunch, and they come back pleasant as a peach. If you’re reasonably intelligent, you’ll recognize the pattern – they obviously get cranky from hunger and are in a good mood after their blood sugar goes back up. You can use this knowledge to make your own life easier; you would make sure to schedule meetings with your boss only after lunch. If you had to meet earlier, you’d make sure to bring a snack and casually offer some to the boss. It would be easy exactly because you have no reason to doubt your own observations.
Now imagine that you get really cranky every day from noon until 1. Then you eat lunch and you come back in a great mood. In theory, it should be even easier to take advantage of this information! Don’t schedule meetings during your low times, and put emergency snacks in your desk drawer for the meetings that have to happen anyway. Because you can control your own behavior, this information about yourself should be even easier to take advantage of than the same information about your manager.
Except it isn’t, is it? Because unlike the info about your manager, you don’t like this information. You don’t want to believe you could be a jerk just because you needed a bite to eat, and you certainly don’t believe you’re ever an unwarranted jerk. Since your behavior is always justified, it doesn’t need to change – or even be acknowledged! The incredibly simple act of having a snack – perfectly fine for your boss – is demeaning to even suggest as a reaction to your mood.
People will go to years of therapy before they’ll eat a snack and go outside, you know?
From about the ages of 25-30, your brain and body are settling into more or less the configuration they’ll have for the next 50 years. So that’s a really great time to read the operating manual, so to speak. Observe your own behavior like you’d observe others’. Figure out the basic controls. Peruse the FAQ.
“When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” Doubly true when both parties are you.
The Opportunity Machine 