In Service

Maybe this isn’t true of everyone, but for me, one of the highest compliments I can receive is: “Hey, can you help me with this thing?”

A sentence like that does everything for me. First, it’s a compliment about my competency; especially if the task is somewhat specialized, then I’m flattered that the person thought of me as the right person among those they knew to do it. Secondly, being able to help someone I care about makes me feel wonderful. I derive a lot of personal satisfaction from the thought that I’m a net positive in other people’s lives, and being able to help with something directly brings that thought into the light.

Plus, there’s always the satisfaction that comes from accomplishing a specific, narrow task. As far as that sense goes, you just can’t beat “the cabinet door was broken and now it isn’t, because of me.”

My overall point is this: doing things in service to others is remarkably good for your mental health. If you’re asked, that means you’re seen as one of your community’s Helpers, one of the people who holds it together. That’s worthy of respect. And even if you aren’t asked – volunteer. Do a few things in service to others and watch all your other woes begin to melt away. The inconsequential ones will evaporate from your worry, and the few truly meaningful ones will be easier to tackle with the help of the friends you make.

My son, at five years old, already prides himself on this behavior. He rushes to every door to make sure he gets a chance to open it for people. He won’t let anyone else carry anything that he can lift. Yesterday my mother needed the old swingset disassembled from her yard, and she asked me to do it. (So we’re already off to a great start, as the request immediately put me in a good mood.) Since my son was with me, I said: “Hey, I could use the strongest boy in the world to help me, do you know who that is?” He rushed to my side and together we took the thing down, me showing him how to use the tools and him helping me carry the old metal away.

We both beamed with pride, the chain of service continued. You just can’t beat it.