There’s lots of really good advice out there, on just about any topic. If you want to do something – anything – well, the instructions are there. It won’t be perfect, of course. Learning to take advice is a skill all on its own, but the information is out there in one form or another. Given that all this wisdom exists, I’ve often wondered: What’s the reason so few people take it?
In my experience, people rarely take the time or put in the effort to become exceptional at anything. I used to think it was primarily because humans are lazy, but I don’t think that’s the whole story. Humans are lazy, sure. But they’re also greedy – and greed usually overcomes laziness. So why don’t more people take what seem like obvious steps to better themselves?
Modern society tells people a lot of lies. I don’t necessarily think it’s malicious in nature, because I know there isn’t some secret cabal of supervillains deciding what “society” tells people. It’s just the natural emergent property of the way civilizations with hundreds of millions of people evolve and all the competing self-interests that go into them. Society lies to you about what foods are healthy and lies to you about who you should be attracted to and all that. But those aren’t the biggest, worst lies.
The biggest, worst lie society tells you is this: “If you follow the standard playbook for life, your life will be exceptionally good.”
Pretty much by definition that can’t be true, now can it?
From a shockingly early age, you get fed a sort of “play by these rules” standard operating procedure for life. And this isn’t presented to you maliciously, but the message you get is: “Don’t think too hard about life strategy. It’s all right here. Just do these things and you’ll get the nice house and corner office and attractive mate and respect of your peers and society and everything else you want.”
So people don’t put the effort into critically cultivating skill and wisdom because they’ve largely been told they don’t have to. It’s a waste of effort! Just get good grades and color inside the lines and all the best stuff in life will just come to you on a conveyor belt.
My father instilled in me two deep, core beliefs about the world that in combination provided a blueprint for my life strategy that I think has served me very well.
The First Belief: “Absolutely anything is possible, the sky’s the limit. You can do or have or achieve anything, there is opportunity everywhere, and the world is full of treasures.”
The Second Belief: “Absolutely nothing will be handed to you, nothing is guaranteed, nothing is automatic, everything is vulnerable, and the second you take anything for granted you’ll lose it.”
I see a lot of people, I would even say most people, who have one of those beliefs but not the other. It forms the core of their worldview. People who hold the first belief but not the second are the ones who end up following the “standard playbook” and expecting all the things in their life to just fall into place. The majority that don’t get lucky enough for that to happen end up disappointed, confused, and frustrated. Then there are those who hold the second belief but not the first; they become jaded cynics who put no effort into anything because they don’t believe anything can happen even if they do. They say “the system is rigged” and take that to mean that they can’t ever succeed at anything, no matter what.
But if you hold them both? Truly internalize both? Now that’s motivation. I’ve achieved things I’m tremendously proud of, but my head’s on a swivel. I don’t think it’s a house of cards ready to fall at any moment, but I know it can be threatened, and I know how easy it is for the winds to change. I know that I may have to rebuild absolutely any or all parts of my life tomorrow, so I keep my tools in working order. If my industry went away tomorrow or someone in my family got sick or my house burned down or any of these potential disasters, I wouldn’t say “Woe is me, I followed all the rules!” I would bear down and keep going, because I know – I always knew – that this was on the table. It was one of the possibilities, always. And it doesn’t mean I’m ruined forever, because I still have The First Belief. Even after succeeding there can be disaster, but even after disaster you can still succeed.
You’re the one driving it all. No society will replace that for you effectively. Only you can make your life extraordinary.
The Opportunity Machine 