I often see people agonizing over “who to trust,” trying to figure out if they can speak freely to a coworker, count on a business partner, and so on. They try to solve it as if it were based on the person, and that’s where they go wrong.
The question should be: why do you need to trust this person?
If you have some juicy workplace gossip and you’re wondering if the person who sits next to you is trustworthy enough for you to share it – then don’t. You’re not getting anything out of that trust, and you’re putting a lot at risk. The situation does not inspire trust.
In general, trusting someone should be based on that – the situation and need. If someone’s about to go into a combat zone with you, then you should know if they’re trustworthy. Because even if they aren’t, you’re still going into the fight. Your behavior should adjust based on whether you think you have your back covered or not.
Trusting someone is often a good way to get them to trust you. So if you’re trying to build a long-term relationship of any kind with someone then yes, you should start with some trust.
But trust isn’t for every random person you meet on the street. Trust is a burden you place on someone, a favor you’re asking them, a requested modification in their behavior. I don’t make it a habit of asking favors from every stranger I meet. Trust is worth more than a dollar, and if you wouldn’t ask a random person for a dollar then you shouldn’t ask them to modifier their behavior to be trustworthy, either.
People will show you who they are. When they do, you can put the trustworthy ones into situations where the trust is helpful – go into dangerous situations with them, build wonderful things with them. When you’re looking to do those things, remember who already “gave you the dollar” when you didn’t ask.
The Opportunity Machine 