The three vaccines of boredom are all healthy virtues in their own right: Contentment, Imagination, and Awareness.

One of my strongest but weirdest views is that boredom is a character flaw. I think that boring people are bored. The ability to simply exist without needing external stimuli is deeply underrated, and your life will absolutely be better if you cultivate it.

Choose to be content. Recognize that simply existing is marvelous, and that you’re never very far from the next exciting turn in your life’s journey anyway. Enjoy the space between moments, use it to enhance their flavor, instead of desperately trying to fill every gap with some meaningless trinket posing as a real experience. Be comfortable being alone with yourself.

Use your imagination. You have a vast machine for creation within your mind, and letting it atrophy from misuse is a terrible disservice to yourself. In the times without excitement bombarding your senses, explore your rich inner self. Conjure fascination, consider new ideas, or simply have a pleasant daydream.

Work on truly being aware of the world you’re in. Observe the small details, take in the richness of the tapestry all around you. How can you be bored when the sunlight plays among the blades of grass, or the wind moves each of the fine hairs on your arm differently? Microscopic miracles pervade, waiting to be relished.

The dependency upon crafted channels of entertainment and engagement is a curse best broken, and swiftly. Boredom is a rejection of the wonder of our world and your own soul, and I decry it.

Mix together rubble and a few other ingredients the right way, and you have concrete. All ruin is potential. Even if there’s nothing left of what you built before, there’s now the space where it used to be – and that’s a resource, too.

In your ongoing efforts to craft a life you love, sometimes you’ll need to advocate for yourself about not liking some aspect of it. When you dislike a food, it’s easy enough to not buy it. But what about elements of your work? Activities your friends or partner enjoy? Parts of your shared living space or community environment?

What those have in common is that you may dislike the thing, but you like the people you share it with (or at least, you want to continue enjoying the benefits, as might be the case with work). So how do you express that you dislike something in a way that preserves or even strengthens the social connection?

First, it’s important to make it clear that you aren’t expressing dislike of the people. If you want a different work assignment, don’t express it as being upset at your team leader for their choice. If you want to see a different movie than the ones your friends suggested, don’t insult their taste in cinema. Show appreciation for the invite in the first place, and demonstrate that you’re exited to participate!

Then, it’s important to start with the request, not the complaint. Don’t say, “Ugh, I hate horror movies, I think people who like them are damaged.” Most people would respond with “Then don’t come!” Instead, something like “Oh, thanks for inviting me, I’m excited! How do you all feel about that new action comedy that just came out? I love thrills but horror movies are a little much for me.” That’s much more likely to get a positive response! Likewise, a work assignment you’d prefer not to do is much more likely to get adjusted if you say, “I really appreciate you giving me goals to stretch out of my normal work duties! Could we discuss something that uses my public speaking skills instead of my writing? I think that would be an even bigger asset to the team,” instead of “I really hate these writing jobs, are you sure I have to do this?”

Make sure you’re detailed about the elements you didn’t – and, importantly, did – enjoy. If your friends insist on that horror movie, after you can say, “While all the blood and screams were a lot for me, I really thought the actress in the lead role was incredible. Has she done any non-horror movies? I’d love to see them!” This shows that you’re eager to engage with your circle and not simply being a curmudgeon. You’re being clear about your reasons, and you’re also giving people the opportunity to help you find more of what you like by giving them elements to enhance in the future. If people start saying, “Don’t invite her, she just hates every movie we suggest anyway,” then you’re not improving your life.

It’s also helpful for you to challenge yourself to think critically in this way, finding elements you like and clearly defining elements you don’t. That’s not only for your circle; it’s also a tool for you to navigate a world with myriad experiences! And since we all have to do a few things we dislike sometimes, why not get better at finding moments of joy within them?

Lastly, put in the effort. People are so much more likely to adjust to your likes if you’re the one making it easy. “I loved the actress that played the lead role, so I looked her up and found a few other movies she’s in that look really good. How about next week I have a movie night at my place and we watch one? Which of these three look best to you all?” That’s a great way to avoid being dragged to a movie you don’t like, don’t you think?

The world is heavily customizable; you just have to learn the coding language.

Too often we view every part of our past as failure. Failure on the way to something better, sure. And maybe we don’t put it into those words. But ask someone how they feel about going back to an old job, calling an ex, or moving back in with their parents – and you’ll see how much we run from our own past.

Sometimes it’s warranted! Things happen in their own time, and “the past” remains the correct place for many such things. But as you’re changing, so are those elements. And what didn’t fit together then may fit together now.

Even two matching jigsaw puzzle pieces won’t fit together if you rotate them the wrong way.

I’m not saying you should spend all your energy retreading old ground. Just that you shouldn’t run screaming, either. Sometimes the past loops around to you, and it’s okay to evaluate that as you would any new experience, rather than defaulting to aversion.

Fix things before they’re broken.

We often have things we care deeply about in our lives that we simply ignore the maintenance of before something goes awry. People have single-income careers but don’t look outside of their job at all until they get laid off. People have relationships but don’t even consider addressing the work involved until somebody messes up. People have children but don’t educate themselves on parenting as a science until a disaster strikes and they’re lamenting, “Where did I go wrong?”

As soon as something becomes important to you, start working on it. Shore it up! In the worst-case scenario, you’re much better prepared for any disasters. But you may prevent many, and in the best-case scenario you’ll enhance that thing far beyond its basic form. You’ll have a more successful and fulfilling career, a better relationship, happier children – a better life.

Life is both joy and work, and appreciating the latter enhances the former.

So much of life is how you choose to experience it. Is rain an inconvenient distraction or a chance to revel in sensation? “It depends on the context,” you say – but no. The context only influences your decision, but that decision is ultimately yours.

That’s why you “sell the sizzle, not the steak.” The experience is what matters. One sensation sells another, and another, in a grand chain. That momentum can be given to you, but you can just choose to take it from the universe, too. There’s plenty to go around.

The wall is the reason for the struggle. Yes, the wall is inconvenient – but do not despair. Its presence means you’re getting stronger, getting closer to the things that matter to you. Your efforts to scale it are the very thing that creates your rewards in life! There will always be walls, but you will grow ever stronger and more resilient for them, and you will teach yourself to love what’s on the other side all the more.

The more you build up your expectations, the more likely you are to be disappointed. Not only because your expectations may spiral out of the realistic, but because time spent daydreaming isn’t time spent experiencing the world!

One of the worst kinds of expectations is expecting anyone to be anything other than what they are. I’m not saying people can’t change – they certainly can, and often do. But they won’t change to fit your desires about them, and expecting them to is the path to madness.

But people are wonderful! Exactly as they are, they can enrich your life in so many ways. So stop trying to squeeze them into a mold. Instead, let the wind take people into your life as it will, and rejoice.

A year ago, my dearest friend showed up at my house with a cheesy greeting card. In that card, he wrote an incredibly heartfelt letter of friendship and support, knowing I was going through a rough time. He also wrote the date in it, which is how I know it was a year ago today.

Gestures like that don’t come every day, and I saved the card. I’m very glad I did. We hung out that day and had a great time, and it was exactly what I needed to feel better about the state of things I was dealing with at the time.

The whole day, we had no idea that he already had terminal lung cancer, and wouldn’t last the year.

In the letter, he said that there was no one more awesome than us.

There certainly wasn’t, my friend.

I like to leave places better than I left them. Unless I’m condemning a place to be destroyed, I have to imagine that someday someone else will use what I’ve left behind. They’ll need the emotional support of someone I’ve encouraged, or they’ll need the tools I’ve designed. Maybe they’ll just need to see a little more clearly. So I leave the lights on.