Some of the best advice I’ve ever heard: If you can bring someone you care about a lot of joy for little effort, you’d be silly not to.

Don’t think of fairness or reciprocity. Just take the amazing deals when you can. You will live a much happier life as a result.

As soon as someone shows a desire for power, you need to know that there is no such thing as “enough.” Power over other humans is the most addictive and corrupting drug ever made. Total abstinence is the only safe guardian, and even then the desire burns in almost every heart.

My wonderful family is currently baking me cookies, a belated Father’s Day treat that a few members were too sick to engage with on Sunday. I puttered around the kitchen despite being of little help and taking up too much space because I wanted to show my gratitude and delight at the proceedings.

My eldest daughter shoo’d me out of the room and told me I’d be summoned when it was time to try the treats.

That alone is a treat more sweet than the cookies will surely be. My heart is filled with love and admiration. I am a lucky guy.

Ask questions to learn. If your questions annoy people, find better people.

People will often warn you: “Don’t poke the bear.” It means don’t draw attention to yourself when you think the act of drawing attention will turn that attention negative. If the bear wakes on its own, it may take longer, but the bear won’t be angry. If you poke it and wake it up, it will likely be grouchy.

When it comes to actual bears, that’s probably good advice. But it’s a poor excuse to be timid in many other situations. A potential customer who’s stopped responding isn’t a bear. A boss who hasn’t gotten back to you about your raise request isn’t a bear.

People are afraid that the negative response they might get is a “no” to whatever request they initially made. But guess what? No response at all is also a “no!”

You have nothing to lose, everything to gain, and in many cases, much more leverage than you imagine. Poke the damned bear.

They don’t make ’em like Bill Roccia anymore. I’m not sure they ever did. He was an abnormality, a mutant and a miracle. He was certainly glued together wrong in a lot of ways – most of his personality was just too big to fit in the normal places that life carves out for people. It didn’t matter; such was his might that he made rooms bigger just by walking into them. He didn’t just fill a room himself; he made room for you, too, and you were thrilled to be there.

And oh the joy he took in his children! The way he told stories, both to us and about us. The way our triumphs were his triumphs and our troubles his burdens to share. The way he pushed us to be better but believed we were the best in the world. Everything he was as a man, he was ten times as much as a father.

I couldn’t fill his shoes if I was a hundred times bigger. But there are few on this Earth that got to study at the feet of a master like that, and so I do have something of an advantage. Any time my father and I would do any sort of competitive game, from shooting pool to throwing axes in his garage, he’d soundly beat me nine times out of ten. And he’d always smile that charming smile and say, “Well, there’s no shame in being beaten by the best.”

So if I’m never truly the best father ever? If all those drawings my kids make me that say “#1 Dad” are off by one? I’ll take it in stride. I’m giving it my all, and being a better father for the effort. And there’s no shame in being beaten by the best.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I miss you.

It’s okay to not have 100% to give some days. You’re sick, you’re injured, you’re worn out. Don’t spend your last 2% on anything besides survival and recovery. There needs to be a few cells left to regenerate from, after all.

Why, when we get injured or sick, do we apologize? For many, myself included, it seems so automatic – of course I should apologize for catching the flu!

It’s absurd. But it also makes sense; we’re suddenly using more of our “tribe’s” resources. We don’t want to be a burden, and we certainly don’t want the tribe to cast us out for being too much of one. So we soften the blow with apologetics and gratitude, hoping they’ll have mercy on us.

That’s not how it really works, of course. Those who care about you will take care of you, and those who don’t, won’t. So don’t feel guilty – feel grateful. And pass it on when you can.

The ability to leave a situation you’re not making better is a very good skill to cultivate.

We often don’t. We double-down, we waste time, we throw good money after bad. We stick out a bad conversation or a bad relationship. We relentlessly keep arguing with our bosses or we stay at a party we aren’t enjoying. Modern humans are terrible at just leaving.

But many times, that’s the best thing for everyone. It’s not abandonment if you were making the situation worse, and sometimes we need to just recognize that. And it’s always better to save your energy for what matters.

My middle daughter read an article about axolotls today called “Animal Superheroes.’ It was about their various cool abilities, especially their regenerative powers. The article suggested a good name for an axolotl superhero would be “Dr. Grow.” Apparently axolotls can even regrow their hearts!

And hey, if they can do it – why can’t you?