One of the essential components for a genuine, proper apology is the promise to enact change. You can’t truly apologize if you don’t intend to change your behavior. It flows naturally from this axiom that you shouldn’t apologize for things you can’t change.
A simple example: Someone asks you to hand them something from a high shelf. You can’t reach it, so you can’t fulfill the request. When you tell the person that you can’t help them, even though you want to, don’t say “sorry!” There’s nothing to be sorry about – your height can’t change, ergo there’s nothing to apologize for.
And I know what you’re thinking: “I’m not apologizing for my height, but I’m expressing regret that I can’t help them,” blah blah blah. Look at the way those apologies creep into your language then! Look at the way you trick yourself into feeling responsible for the immutable conditions of the universe!
Now, sometimes there are things to apologize for that are related to things you can’t change. If you’re too short to reach the high shelf, that’s that. But if you’re constantly bugging other people to get things for you rather than storing those things on lower shelves or using a step-stool or some other solution, then you could definitely change something. Not your height, but your behavior. So if you find yourself saying, “Sorry I’m so short,” that’s a cop-out. You really should be apologizing for – and changing! – the fact that you aren’t taking agency over your own problems.
So don’t apologize for the universe. Instead, think of what you could change in response to it. Don’t be sorry – adapt!
The Opportunity Machine 