The Forking River

Just because you want to part ways because of some changes, doesn’t mean you necessarily disagree with those changes. You’re not obligated to find fault with a decision before you choose to go another way, and don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you do.

Let’s say you’ve been a loyal customer of your local pizza shop for years. One day, they switch to a cheaper ingredient for their pizzas in order to cut costs. This might be a perfectly valid business decision! It might reduce their operating costs and allow them to stay in business or even expand. Most people might not mind the change. But if you mind it – if you find that the pizza isn’t tasty to you anymore – you’re allowed to stop going there.

People often fall into this mental trap where they say something like this to themselves: “Well, I don’t like their pizza anymore, but I get why they did it. If I was the business owner, I’d probably do the same thing. I can’t fault them or be mad, so I guess I’ll keep going there.”

Admit it. You’ve done something like that. With a business you frequent, a job you’ve had, maybe even a romantic partner. You’ve accepted the negative personal consequences of a decision made by someone else for someone else, just because you understood why they made that decision.

You do not have to do this.

You don’t have to find fault with a decision just to part ways. If the decision doesn’t benefit you, that’s enough to move on and change your environment.

“What, so everyone has to make every decision based on what’s good for me personally?”

No, of course not. But neither do you. That pizza place shouldn’t cater to you, specifically. Your preferences are your own. But you don’t have to cater to them, either. If an arrangement between multiple entities no longer works for all those entities, the arrangement can dissolve. It’s nobody’s fault, nobody’s wrong, but sometimes things just run their course.

When you choose one fork of the river and they choose the other, that’s just life. The river will have many forks. Take the paths that make you happy.