We are social creatures. We highly value the esteem of our peers. One of the reasons for this is we evolved in an environment where “esteem of our peers” was the primary currency used to get pretty much everything else. We got better food, mates, living arrangements, etc. from being well-respected and highly regarded.
This is one of the reasons why our egos are so dangerous to us today. Imagine getting into a public argument with someone and defending your position in a heated manner. After, someone says to you “If you publicly apologize and admit you were wrong, I’ll give you a thousand dollars.” For many people that would genuinely be a difficult decision!
But why? The apology costs you nothing, and the argument probably wasn’t important. You don’t even have to mean it when you apologize! But our evolutionary wiring still screams at us that “status” is the most important thing, so we’re loathe to do anything to diminish it. That same evolutionary wiring hasn’t quite caught up to money, yet.
This is how you cheat at the status game. If you recognize that status isn’t actually the end goal and never was, but rather that status was always a form of currency used to get things we want, you can skip that part. You can recognize that a thousand dollars probably buys you much more of whatever you want than being right in an argument ever could.
Some version of this happens to you all the time. You get in an argument with a spouse, for example, and then you barricade yourself behind your position. What you actually want is a peaceful home, a pleasant mate, etc. You will get that stuff by just apologizing because you don’t live in a cave on the savannah. But the evolutionary wiring still thinks you do, and tries to convince you that the way to all your true goals is simply to be the ape with the most status.
Opt out, my friend. Abandon the status game, especially when it’s costing you something real to play it. Carve out your beautiful bubble and within it, be happy.
The Opportunity Machine 