Veneer

All my front teeth are fake. When I was young I used to fight a lot, and a few times I got them really banged up and never fixed them. As a result of both the damage and subsequent negligence, they got significantly worse and were a real eyesore.

When I talked, I was careful never to open my mouth much because of how awful they looked. I never smiled fully in pictures. I knew everyone would notice.

One day, finally, I got an expensive dental procedure done and had them reconstructed. It was arduous, but the end result was great. I finally had a nice-looking smile and was really happy to show it off. I went to a gathering of my friends and walked in with a big, toothy grin. I cheerfully called out hello to everyone as I walked in the room. Their response?

“Oh, hey Johnny. What’s up?”

That’s it. I stared at the room, smiling from ear to ear like an idiot, said smile becoming increasingly forced with each passing second. Eventually, someone said, “What’s wrong with you?”

I grinned some more, but my eyes didn’t have it. I said, “Really? Nothing?”

They all shrugged. Finally, I couldn’t take it and just yelled, “I fixed my teeth!”

And the universal response was: “There was something wrong with your teeth?”

These were people I’d known for years. So, there are a few lessons here. Maybe I was just really good at hiding my chompers. But probably not – what was more likely was that people really, really don’t notice stuff about you. It’s called “spotlight bias” – we think we’re the center of attention and everyone is scrutinizing us but in reality, we mostly slide in and out of other people’s attention without much real notice. A few people might pay attention (a girl walked into that gathering later and immediately said “Hey, you fixed your teeth!” which turned out to be my first clue that she liked me), but they’re the exception.

The other lesson though is this – fix the stuff that bothers you. Don’t carry burdens you don’t have to. You don’t have to fix everything, but once it’s clear that a problem is actually making you change your life for the worse to route around it, dig it out.