Treat Yourself

You teach people how to treat you. Along the way, you might grant them a lesson on how to treat other people. But the best you can often do is create the treatment you want to receive yourself.

When you see someone else who is “more successful” than you (in whatever way you choose to define it), a lot of your brain rebels. You don’t want to mirror them or learn from them – you want to destroy them. You want to either destroy them in reality (though thankfully most of us resist this impulse), or you want to destroy the avatar of them that you created in your head. You took your perception of them as a successful person and got jealous of it, and then with your mind’s next impulse you attributed their success to fortunate circumstances beyond either of your control. It wasn’t that they had more discipline or drive than you, of course not. They were just born with a silver spoon in their mouth. And of course that means that even if you were to copy their actions exactly, you wouldn’t get what they got – which absolves you from the responsibility of trying.

When successful people actually do try to teach others to be successful too, that’s why they so often get labeled as scam artists. (And it doesn’t help that – yes – some of them are. Some people really are snake oil salesmen; almost all “get rich quick” types are this.) But clearly, some people do some things better than some other people. We shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss those lessons when we see them.

Wise people don’t necessarily try to push their best wisdom onto others; they just live a live of good example. So be wary of those trying to sell that snake oil – but when you see someone who is closer to one of your own goals than you are, pull yourself towards them. See what they know, what they’re doing. Learn how to treat yourself.