I think we often categorize people based on their station, rather than their behavior. And I think maybe we should lean a little bit more the other way.
You owe loyalty to people who deserve loyalty. If someone who should be on your side is constantly causing you to have to fight for basic respect and decent treatment, then you shouldn’t necessarily try to win those fights. You should just recategorize that person as not your ally and move on.
I don’t want to say, “You’re supposed to be my friend, why are you always treating me badly?” That’s a painful fight, and it never ends. Instead, I’d rather say – just once – “Oh, this person always treats me badly. I should stop considering them to be my friend and remove them from circumstances where they can do so.”
I don’t like to fight. Nine times out of ten, someone forcing you to fight immediately means they aren’t worth fighting for.
The Opportunity Machine 