How to Lose

Some fights you lose. Just a fact of life. Lots of people – myself included – insist on sometimes losing the same fight more than once.

I don’t even mean fighting the same kind of fight multiple times, or going back to the mat for rematches, etc. Getting back on the horse and trying again is admirable, to a point. I mean that some people will take a single instance of a single fight, lose it, and then insist on suffering that loss more than they have to.

Here’s the first tip: When you’ve lost, admit it. See it and say it. A whole lot of the pain or consequences that come from losing will cease the second you admit defeat, because then you can start learning, preparing for next time, and removing yourself from the conflict. When someone still sees you as an adversary, they’ll keep hammering you. When you tap out, they often stop.

Plus, the stress level drops considerably. A bad finish is still a finish, and you can start turning off the parts of your brain that are giving you constant agony and frustration.

Let go of the anchor. No one likes to lose, least of all me. But stop beating yourself up about it! Adversaries will do that enough, you certainly don’t have to.