When I say that something is an important responsibility, that isn’t me telling you that I think you should do it and you’re somehow a failure if you don’t. That’s me saying to you: “This thing is important, so if you need help with it, I am very willing to share that burden with you.”
It’s easy to admonish others for what they should do while you stand on the sidelines of their life. But a principle I hold dearly in my heart is that I can’t give anyone flak for anything I’m unwilling to help with.
When we hear someone tell us that we should be doing something that we’re not, it’s easy to interpret that as judgment and admonishment – because for most people, that’s exactly what it is. But not from me. I may forget to say the words, “So how can I help?” But that’s what I mean.
The Opportunity Machine 