Imagine you painted a picture, but forgot you were wearing your sunglasses. Everything would look darker to you, causing you to make choices you wouldn’t make if you could see without the filter. When you were finished, you might even think it came out “too dark” and be unsatisfied with the result – but to others, the picture might look quite bright.
When you’re carrying a lot of stress or negative emotion and you’re holding it in, it doesn’t just make the world look darker to you. It also starts to affect how you can connect with others, creating a widening gap between you and those you interact with. You’re starting with different perceptions of the world and of your interaction. You aren’t seeing the same things, so your communication becomes harder to understand.
Removing negative emotion or stress isn’t as easy as taking off your sunglasses. But just letting the other person know that you’re in that place can do wonders for bridging that gap. They don’t need to know every detail if you don’t want to explain it, but just saying, “Hey, I’m having a bit of a rough day, don’t take anything personally if I seem like I’m not as high-spirited as you are today” can create a supportive, understanding environment where there might otherwise have been misunderstandings and confusion.
And if that gentle nudge opens up the invitation to talk more deeply? So much the better, that you might share the colors again.
The Opportunity Machine 