Today I had a heart-to-heart, man-to-man talk with one of my son’s friends. He’s a good kid; he’s a staple at my dinner table and backyard, and nary a day passes where he isn’t attached at the hip to my kids. But there had been a brief physical altercation between him and my son (this happened at another friend’s house in the neighborhood, whose mom contacted me to let me know). I spoke with my son about it to get the details, which involved the other child having a small outburst and laying hands aggressively on my son.
My son is quick to forgive and a good friend, so he accepted the apology offered immediately and thought no more of it. But I wanted to address the issue more directly, so I told this other young man that he’d have to have a chat with me before he was allowed back at the dinner table. He willingly obliged (see, I told you he was a good kid) and we talked.
We spoke about right and wrong, a little in how it relates to when it’s acceptable to use physical force (yes if you’re defending yourself or others, no if you’re angry at someone), but much more we talked about honesty. About how important it is to talk about your mistakes and to both give and expect trust to your circle. I told him that he’s in my circle, and that he’d always get honesty from me, and I expected it back from him. He shook my hand like a man and promised to do his best.
Then he told me: “I really miss my dad.”
Me too, kid. But you wouldn’t be the first stray to find a surrogate in the Roccia clan, and you won’t be the last.
We all ate dinner together, talking about our respective days, sharing stories and laughing.
He’s a good kid. He’ll be okay.
The Opportunity Machine 