“It’s the journey that’s important, not the destination.”
…sometimes.
The thing is, your whole life is one big journey made of many, many smaller ones. You have finite time to enjoy upon this world. So sometimes it makes sense to get to a destination a little faster, if it opens more time for more enjoyable journeys!
It’s not the “journey” of doing your laundry that’s important, it’s clean laundry. If you can find a faster way to do that so you can have more fun on a hike with your kids, do it!
When a big, positive change happens, it can crowd out even other positive things. Say you start a new job or move to your dream city. Even though these are positive changes, they may make it hard for you to continue the healthy habits you’ve formed. The new job’s schedule might disrupt your workout routine, or moving to a new city limits the amount of time you once spent with close friends.
This is okay! That’s life – but what’s important is that you don’t ignore it. Don’t let bad habits creep in to fill the cracks in your life. Take the time to rebuild the scaffolding, being intentional about how you adjust your life to accommodate the new exciting change. It can be overwhelming at first, but worth every second of investment.
One of the kindest things you can offer is cheerful respect of someone else’s boundaries.
Be kind to yourself too.
If you want quality time with someone, spend lots of time with them. Not only will some of that time be quality, but the investment of hours is what leads to the connection.
No matter what you want “quality over quantity” of, it rarely works that way. Getting quality is work. Worthy work, but work. But in the hours, and reap the best ones.
When you hear a criticism, what you’re really hearing is an admission. The person is telling you what affects them, what concerns them, what they feel emotionally bothered by. They’re telling you what affects them. Remember what they say, but also remember what it means.
When I say that something is an important responsibility, that isn’t me telling you that I think you should do it and you’re somehow a failure if you don’t. That’s me saying to you: “This thing is important, so if you need help with it, I am very willing to share that burden with you.”
It’s easy to admonish others for what they should do while you stand on the sidelines of their life. But a principle I hold dearly in my heart is that I can’t give anyone flak for anything I’m unwilling to help with.
When we hear someone tell us that we should be doing something that we’re not, it’s easy to interpret that as judgment and admonishment – because for most people, that’s exactly what it is. But not from me. I may forget to say the words, “So how can I help?” But that’s what I mean.
Sometimes major plans in your life will change. You’ll need to adapt to discomfort in order to preserve what truly matters. Pay attention to who supports you during these times. That information is worth its weight in gold.
The best reason to try new things when things are going well is that you can try weird things.
As an example: Most people don’t look for or apply to a new job until they’re forced to. But when you’re desperate, you play it safe because you don’t want to risk your opportunities. But this can close you off from the very best opportunities out there, and the best ways to win them!
When you’re not desperate, you have the security to try unusual approaches or bold moves. And that’s how you discover all sorts of amazing things!
So, pick an area of your life that’s going well right now, and use that safety to try something new, something different – something weird!
When you get very good at something, there are a few traps you can accidentally lay for yourself:
When you’re a true whiz at something, that’s a valuable quality! Don’t undermine it with these mistakes. Embrace your skill and its value!
It seems like simple advice, but in practice it’s hard to follow:
If plans you made get disrupted, examine how you feel? If you’re relieved, then make a note of it for the future! Life is too short to do things you don’t want to do if you don’t have to. If, on the other hand, you’re disappointed? Let that motivate you! Don’t let opportunity slip by – put in the effort to reschedule or replace the activity.
Easy in theory, but mood and fatigue get in the way often. So note that too! Maybe the plans were a great idea, but you didn’t align them well with when you’d want to do them. Learn and adapt, my friend! And have fun!
The Opportunity Machine 