Want a great way to give impactful feedback? Pick something that someone did that’s a “Keeper:” a high-impact, positive thing. Something really good. Then, match it with something else you think could be improved, and use their own “Keeper” as the example.

“Joe, I think you crushed the intro to that presentation for the client. They were really captivated right away. In fact, I think if you look at your mid-presentation slides, they could even be improved by using some of those same methods. What you did in the intro would be great all the way through!”

It’s a high-trust feedback method. You’re using their own successes as the model for improvement, rather than imposing your own views. And it forces you to dig down for a compliment before you can criticize, which is always a worthwhile effort.

The best forms of leadership don’t always look good to other leaders.

Being a good listener, a provider of resources, or a highly trusting person can seem like they aren’t “active leadership” when your peers are looking. But that’s a status game you shouldn’t play. The best forms of leadership, like the best forms of decision-making in general, often involve less being more.

It’s interesting how things feel rude based on vestigial concerns.

Why is it rude to wear a hat indoors? A long time ago, knights removed their helmets to identify themselves and demonstrate that they weren’t impostors. I don’t know about you, but even on the rare occasion where I do wear a hat, it’s not a full-face metal helmet that obscures my identity. So why is it rude to keep it on? People say things like “Oh, it shows that you might be in a hurry to leave,” but that fails on two fronts. One, I might be in a hurry to leave, but that isn’t necessarily rude depending on the context. But more importantly, that feels like hollow justification. It seems like wearing hats inside was rude, and when the reason for it to be rude disappeared, people came up with new reasons for the same thing to be rude just so they could keep the same rules of etiquette.

Smoking, once ubiquitous, has fallen out of fashion. If you light up a cigarette in someone’s company in pretty much any context, it might be considered rude. If you’re in a shared public space such as an office, restaurant, bus, etc. then lighting a cigarette subjects other people to foul smells that can linger for days. That’s certainly rude in my book!

But now consider the age of virtual meetings. 99% of my business is conducted from my own home over a series of video conferences with people all across the globe. I don’t smoke, but if I chose to while I was working, it would affect no one but me. My colleagues could see it, but they couldn’t smell it. It wouldn’t affect them in any way. But some casual conversation with folks elicited exactly the responses I suspected: People can’t put their finger on why, but they still instinctively think of it as rude.

The rules of etiquette become subconscious. They burrow into our culture and stay there, even when they no longer connect to any meaning within that culture. Of course, some of the rules still make a lot of sense – cover your mouth when you cough, people. But that makes it all the harder to separate the ones that don’t.

It’s worth examining because outdated notions of rudeness build up as cultural barriers. A culture that never had knights might not care if you wear hats indoors, and therefore they might think nothing of keeping their headwear on at your dinner party. You might think they’re rude, but they don’t have an unkind intention in their heart – just a fancy hat on their head.

You can do absolutely anything. Here’s what you need:

1. A very accurate schedule that you adhere to diligently. All tasks can be accomplished if they’re given their proper time, and that time is defended.
2. Good tools. If your tools are clean and well-organized, and you have the right ones, all projects come together.
3. Friends. At least one; the more the merrier.

That’s it. If you’re looking at a seemingly impossible task, check this list first. Gather those things. If you have them, you can do it. And you’ll be amazed how good you feel just checking these off.

Someday great tragedies become children’s costumes. We can feel them now, and still be okay giving them to the great expanse of the future. All things pass to dust, and it isn’t always bad.

25 is coming back to your parents, hat in hand, to say “It’s harder than I thought,” and finally truly asking for advice.

30 is admitting that even happened, and dropping the false story you told yourself that it was for some other reason, not because your parents had wisdom to give that you needed.

40 is understanding that wasn’t shameful, it was wonderful. Not everyone has those parents to go back to.

How you start the game is as important as how you finish it. There’s opportunity for style and strategy, intensity and integrity. There’s a chance for you to set great things in motion.

Give it your all.

Take it one leg at a time, and you can go any distance. Stretch your legs when you need to. Range is unlimited, even if you need to rest for the night.

Plans change. Life changes. Sometimes your routine is disrupted. Sometimes you’re the one disrupting it, for good reason.

The fact that plans will almost never go according to themselves is no reason not to make them.

Use the default. Have a standard deviation, something to measure. A mean to regress to. Deviations aren’t chaos, they’re information. And they can be rewarding. But the plan is still the plan.