Fix things before they’re broken.

We often have things we care deeply about in our lives that we simply ignore the maintenance of before something goes awry. People have single-income careers but don’t look outside of their job at all until they get laid off. People have relationships but don’t even consider addressing the work involved until somebody messes up. People have children but don’t educate themselves on parenting as a science until a disaster strikes and they’re lamenting, “Where did I go wrong?”

As soon as something becomes important to you, start working on it. Shore it up! In the worst-case scenario, you’re much better prepared for any disasters. But you may prevent many, and in the best-case scenario you’ll enhance that thing far beyond its basic form. You’ll have a more successful and fulfilling career, a better relationship, happier children – a better life.

Life is both joy and work, and appreciating the latter enhances the former.

So much of life is how you choose to experience it. Is rain an inconvenient distraction or a chance to revel in sensation? “It depends on the context,” you say – but no. The context only influences your decision, but that decision is ultimately yours.

That’s why you “sell the sizzle, not the steak.” The experience is what matters. One sensation sells another, and another, in a grand chain. That momentum can be given to you, but you can just choose to take it from the universe, too. There’s plenty to go around.

The wall is the reason for the struggle. Yes, the wall is inconvenient – but do not despair. Its presence means you’re getting stronger, getting closer to the things that matter to you. Your efforts to scale it are the very thing that creates your rewards in life! There will always be walls, but you will grow ever stronger and more resilient for them, and you will teach yourself to love what’s on the other side all the more.

The more you build up your expectations, the more likely you are to be disappointed. Not only because your expectations may spiral out of the realistic, but because time spent daydreaming isn’t time spent experiencing the world!

One of the worst kinds of expectations is expecting anyone to be anything other than what they are. I’m not saying people can’t change – they certainly can, and often do. But they won’t change to fit your desires about them, and expecting them to is the path to madness.

But people are wonderful! Exactly as they are, they can enrich your life in so many ways. So stop trying to squeeze them into a mold. Instead, let the wind take people into your life as it will, and rejoice.

A year ago, my dearest friend showed up at my house with a cheesy greeting card. In that card, he wrote an incredibly heartfelt letter of friendship and support, knowing I was going through a rough time. He also wrote the date in it, which is how I know it was a year ago today.

Gestures like that don’t come every day, and I saved the card. I’m very glad I did. We hung out that day and had a great time, and it was exactly what I needed to feel better about the state of things I was dealing with at the time.

The whole day, we had no idea that he already had terminal lung cancer, and wouldn’t last the year.

In the letter, he said that there was no one more awesome than us.

There certainly wasn’t, my friend.

I like to leave places better than I left them. Unless I’m condemning a place to be destroyed, I have to imagine that someday someone else will use what I’ve left behind. They’ll need the emotional support of someone I’ve encouraged, or they’ll need the tools I’ve designed. Maybe they’ll just need to see a little more clearly. So I leave the lights on.

Information is hard to retain, even harder to get other people to retain. Whatever gimmicks you can employ to make the information stick, I’m all for it!

Tell stories. Crack jokes. Rhymes, jingles, and of course direct practice all help information lodge itself in the brain. The Animaniacs (an amazing cartoon from my childhood) had all sorts of amazing songs that turned lists of facts into goofy tunes and as a result I can still name all the countries (well, all the ones that existed then, anyway).

If you’re a teacher of any kind, be silly. Silliness is stickiness!

There is always someone who wants what you do. You surround yourself with people who might not, but the world is a billion times larger than your circle of friends. It costs so little to explore a bit – why not?

You aren’t trying to balance all the things in your life, as if they were working against each other and your job is to keep the peace. At least, you shouldn’t be.

Every aspect of your life is part of a planetary system, with you as the star they orbit around. Their gravity affects the other spheres in the same way that Earth’s gravity affects Mars’ orbit. Your career orbits you, and individual jobs orbit your career like moons to a planet.

Your family is a gas giant, with individual members becoming major moons. Your bad habits and vices collect like an asteroid belt, putting craters in the surface of the nearby planets. Some orbits are elliptical; they will at times be closer to or farther from you.

But ever, you are the center.

Their movement is part of an important system, and that system’s energy is all connected. The moon controls the tides on Earth, and so it is with the harmony (or lack thereof) between the aspects of your life.

Use the orbits, use the harmony. Do things in their season, and respect their gravity.

There is rarely harm in asking for information from honest people. If you’re worried about a negative reaction, that’s usually your gut telling you that the people you’re dealing with don’t have your best interests in mind.

As an example, imagine you’re buying a car and you ask to look under the hood. What kind of salesperson would react poorly to such a request? Only someone who didn’t want you to see what a mess the engine was! Anyone selling a reasonable vehicle would be happy to abide by an equally reasonable request.

Curiosity doesn’t just gain you information. It gains you insight. How people respond to curiosity in others tells you a lot about them!