I’m on day 5 of no caffeine. It happened accidentally – I was sick enough for a few days that the idea of any was really unappealing, so the silver lining of that is that I got through those difficult first few days of the detox.

From a chemicals-in-my-body perspective, I’m pretty healthy. I don’t drink, smoke, do any drugs, and I even keep processed sugar to a minimum. I aim to eat very healthy, though I’m certainly not perfect in that regard. But my diet is pretty high in veggies and protein and low in carbs, I drink a gallon of water a day, and so on.

Except for caffeine. Energy drinks in particular (though yes, always sugar-free, for all the good that does). I drink… a lot. Let’s just say I don’t want to say how much I drink on average for fear that someone’s going to call 911.

And I have no illusions that it’s not an addiction. The primary effect isn’t on my energy levels, it’s on my mood. I drink them when I’m not even tired. I drink them the way alcoholics hit the bottle, to be honest. If I had a rough day – a can of some sort of wild, hot garbage will put me right.

I don’t like it.

So, since fate has given me the opportunity to fight off this monkey, I’m taking it. I’m on day 5 of the detox. So far the effects have been… well, none, if I’m honest. I haven’t been sleeping any better, my general levels of stress and anxiety are unchanged, and my resting heart rate is still a cool 100.

But there are “positive non-changes,” too. I’m not any more tired than I was, which kind of reinforces the idea that I wasn’t drinking them for the energy anyway. I’d probably built up such a tolerance to the caffeine levels that it wasn’t doing a thing anymore. And my mood hasn’t decreased, on average.

I suppose there has been one major positive change, which is: do you have any idea how expensive these freakin’ things are?! So that’s a lot of money I’m not spending, which is always a good thing.

I know I’m in danger of falling off this wagon, which is why I’m writing this. The more I reinforce the positives to myself, the more they’ll hold. That’s another lesson to draw – public accountability helps.

Baby steps to a better life.

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