I am, obviously, a junkie for personal development and improvement.
That doesn’t mean I’m always great at it, but it certainly means I’m always working towards it. The dark side is that I’m bad at feeling satisfied. My father was much better at this than me – despite his lifelong love of learning and improvement, he is also good at looking at the lawn when it’s appropriate.
Over the past week or so, my daughter and I built an art studio for her in the basement. She’s tremendously talented and has been painting for some time. She’s taken it more than seriously enough to warrant additional parental investment, and a studio was a reasonable ask – especially since she wanted to help with the labor. So we cleaned, and built, and shopped, and unpacked, and built her a really awesome little corner art studio and workshop.
And as soon as it was finished, the very second, I looked around the basement and started mapping the next projects. Creating her art studio had necessitated this thing be moved here, which means I could do this, and so now I want to make this out of this section, and then after that I’ll be able to…
Over and over and over. This is my pattern.
So today, I’m trying to stop a little. I’m applying my drive for self-improvement to this flaw, and trying to improve it. Instead of immediately looking at the next thing, I am saying “this is cool.”
I’m declaring victory. That art studio is great, and my daughter couldn’t be happier with it. I’m not sure I’ll be able to convince her to leave it ever, in fact.
Of course I’ll do more projects. Of course I’m not finished. Maybe I never will be. But even if I can’t finish, I can pause. I can look upon my works, and be proud. I can let that sink in for a bit.
I will always have tomorrow for ambition, but I can reserve today for joy.