You’re about to engage with someone. You’re on the verge of sending them an email, starting a conversation, etc. This will be your first interaction, and you’re goal-oriented, so you’re very focused on the best way to get what you want. You’re also, perhaps, focused on what could go wrong with that plan – what if they don’t like my email?
What very, very few people do is think “what does the other person want to happen today?”
Other people have goals too, and they’re often very easy to help. That goes a long way towards getting rid of the anxiety that they won’t want to talk to you – of course they will, if you’re helping them. It also helps you start to craft win/win scenarios that get you closer to your own goal.
Yet so few people take this step! It’s more challenging intellectually – our entire brain is designed around fulfilling our own wants, not those of strangers. We don’t have as many good processes for figuring out what a relative stranger might desire. But practice – it’s worth the effort.