The Neutral Zone

It’s interesting how different people group experiences that don’t generate strong feelings one way or the other.

Let’s say you watch a movie. You enjoyed it, but don’t have any desire to watch it again. Certainly no desire to buy it. If it were on at somebody’s house you wouldn’t complain or leave the room, but you also wouldn’t request it or suggest it, especially when compared to the many other movies in existence you could choose from.

Some people would take that to mean you hated it!

For a lot of people, that’s because they’re not comfortable with how to treat things in the neutral space. Often they feel guilty suggesting something that isn’t 100% A+ super fantastic in the other person’s mind.

Someone once invited me out to dinner at a particular restaurant. I accepted and had a lovely time with a friend. They later asked me what I thought of that particular restaurant and I answered similarly to the movie description, above: “I like it, not a place I’d pick but certainly a place I have no problem going to.”

They responded as if they’d just run over my cat. “I’m so sorry! I’d have never made you go there if I knew you didn’t like it!”

First: you didn’t make me go anywhere. I’m an adult, and can voice my opinions as needed. If I didn’t want to go there, I’d have made an alternate suggestion. You couldn’t make me go somewhere if you wanted to.

Second: did I say I didn’t like it? In fact, I said I did like it! I just said I didn’t love it, but that’s okay. I’m comfortable in the space between. Especially because that’s where people are! You can’t expect to only do things that are exactly the perfect, favorite things of yours and still expect to connect with other people. I don’t need it to always be my favorite restaurant, my favorite movie, my favorite game. That’s a comfortable space to live in. It has good people in it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s