I have an almost surefire way to tell if someone is generally a confident, comfortable person who has actual talent and isn’t faking their way through life. If you’re not sure if someone is a “phony” or if they really are a talented, intelligent person, this simple method will tell with 99% accuracy: Tell them about a minor accomplishment of yours.
If they’re the real deal, they’ll be happy for you. They’ll congratulate you, or ask you interested questions about it, or just generally act in a way that contributes to your sense of pride in what you just told them. If they’re not, then they’ll do the opposite. They’ll one-up your story, or they’ll find something about it to criticize or belittle, or maybe they’ll even just shrug it off like it isn’t a big deal.
The latter person’s sense of self-worth comes in comparison to others, and so they subconsciously (or maybe even consciously) need to diminish others so they don’t lose their sense of self. A person confident in themselves can celebrate others’ wins all day without losing an inch of their own stature.
Pay attention to how others treat you when you share a small victory, and surround yourself with the people who make it a big deal.
The Opportunity Machine 