People frequently misdiagnose their own troubles. One of the most common flavors is this: “The reason I can’t do [whatever] is because [something everyone else does].” For example: “I can’t get promoted at my job because nobody can handle how real I am,” or “My podcast won’t take off because everyone’s too dumb to appreciate my takes.”
And here’s the thing: this can be a misdiagnosis even if it’s factually accurate, because it puts the onus to change on exactly the people who have nothing to gain by doing so.
You want to get promoted? Then you have to reframe “nobody can handle how real I am” into something that puts the responsibility on you. You don’t even have to change your opinion – yet. You just have to look at things with your own agency as the primary lens. “I can’t get promoted because I don’t censor myself around the suits,” is still a belligerent take. But at least it presents its own solution! It becomes an active trade-off you’re choosing to make, instead of an immutable fact of the universe. And once it’s framed that way, it might become a little harder to defend.
You can’t change other people. You can only change how you interact with them. Some trade-offs are worth making and others aren’t, but the choice is always yours.
The Opportunity Machine 