Who you are in relation to others is not a complete identity, and it never can be. It is a single angle at any given time. Choose any object, and you can’t ever see more than – at most – half of it from where you are. You see facets, other things hidden from you.
Thus is it always with other people. You may know them for a long time, and in that time move around them such that you see every side – but never all at once. You can’t. And you can’t show every side of yourself to another all at once, even if you wanted to.
So don’t stress too much about it. Some pieces will fit together at one angle and won’t fit if you turn them a different way, even if the pieces don’t change. That seam, that border is a thing in itself, and it will vary over time.
You will vary over time, too.