When I was younger, I loved the sound of my own voice. I would talk about anything, to anyone, any time. While I don’t regret the practice I got at the valuable skill of public speaking and communication, I’m now much more frugal with my words.

I basically think about it like this: There are three reasons to talk to someone. To bring them joy, to change their mind, or to learn something from/about them.

These days, if a conversation isn’t leading to one of those three, I tend to notice it immediately. And I tend to prefer contemplation to conversation in those cases.

Sometimes you are exactly the person who will benefit most from something you think is worthless.

The person who scowls at the idea that a little sunshine would actually improve their mental health is exactly the person who needs a little sunshine. The person who thinks creative brain play exercises don’t confer any value is exactly the person who isn’t creative enough to imagine the benefit.

Not everything is a good idea, of course. But check yourself if you find yourself reflexively rejecting things that seem weird to you. You never know if you’re exactly the person who needs it most.

So much of adult life is simply fighting the never-ending march of entropy. Things break, decay, and deteriorate. Maintenance comes in waves.

But so does joy and fortune, so I’ll keep plugging along.

When two people have opposite views on a topic, there’s plenty of opportunity for conflict. But there’s also a lot of opportunity for growth, change, and friendly resolution. The manner of the disagreement matters more than the topic; if both parties are calm, curious, and open-minded then there can be much common ground found between them.

An interesting form of conflict that I’ve found much harder to resolve is when two people both agree on a topic, but in varying amounts. For example, someone who thinks taxes should be lowered a lot versus someone who thinks taxes should be lowered a little. Despite being directional allies, they’re often the bitterest of friends!

Because there are so few things they disagree on, both parties have a hard time wrapping their heads around why the other doesn’t simply agree on the final outcome. This can lead to some of the most intense – and absurd! – arguments I’ve ever witnessed.

If you find someone who agrees with you, just not as much as you’d like – count your blessings! You’re both pulling on the same rope. If and when it gets to where one of you would stop pulling, then you can argue. But don’t waste your breath before then!

You have to be careful who speaks for you. For better or for worse, we all have agents out in the world. My children represent my family, and their behavior is a reflection on my values. An employee represents you simply by virtue of the fact that you’ve chosen to continue your working relationship.

Association matters. I once worked with someone who was so intolerable to me that I didn’t work with that company again for years. Only many years later did I discover that everyone at the firm also thought that person was intolerable, but no one had the guts to fire her. As a result, they lost a thousand business partners and clients like me, people who simply quietly assumed that any company culture that allowed a person like that must be a culture like that. The rest of them were quite nice, but because they’d allowed that person to stay, they’d tacitly endorsed her behavior towards the company’s vendors and clients.

Aggressively shape your circle. When someone has to stand in a room for you, make sure they’re standing tall.

One of my family’s biggest traditions is the annual 4th of July party held at my mother’s house. It’s a big shindig every year, and since my father’s passing, it’s also become something of a memorial for him; he was a great patriot and tremendous scholar of Colonial-era history, and oh how he loved that day.

This year, the heat wave was so dangerous that the town canceled both the parade and the fireworks, normally the two bookends of the day’s festivities. My mother made the wise but sad decision to cancel the party for the first time.

And everyone… showed up anyway. No parade, no fireworks, and an officially canceled party, but friends and family came by. Officially just to stop in and say hello, but finding my mother overjoyed to see them and with a wide-open door (not to mention all the food she’d already bought for the party!), they just stayed.

People just came out of love, and stayed to share it. No fireworks, no parade. Just each other.

Guess you can’t cancel family. Thank goodness!

As always on this holiday, let it be remembered that freedom in all forms is the ultimate virtue from which all other benefits flow. Do what you can to increase liberty – for all – in this world.

It’s a painful experience, but sometimes you have to decide not to do a thing you wanted to do for pragmatic reasons. You have to not take that hiking trip because of a rolled ankle, or cancel the party due to inclement weather. Being painful doesn’t make it the wrong call, though. A sign of maturity and wisdom is being able to invest in more fun in the future by not causing more harm to yourself now. Life deals out small misfortunes, but perseverance is a great boon.

A burst of energy and motivation when facing a new project is a strong mental signal that not enough people pay attention to. Especially if it isn’t common for you, pay attention to the source! You may be discovering a passion you didn’t realize you had, and that can be refined into a new shape for this chapter of your life. Take some time to journal about it, talk to friends, anything to explore the idea. You never know what new doors may open!